


Stuck Neverlasting

by zaom



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Connor whump, Crying, Father-Son Relationship, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Sexual Harassment, Trauma, Whump, gavin is not nice in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-06 14:35:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17941565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaom/pseuds/zaom
Summary: After a fight with Detective Gavin Reed, Connor is left broken and defeated. How will he cope with all newfound feelings and thoughts?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is not meant to fetishize rape and trauma. This is a fanfiction about mental illness and recovering from rape, but does contain graphic depictions of rape and assault in the first chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Gavin end up in a fight, leaving Connor broken and bruised. Hank comes to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning! This first chapter contains graphic depictions of rape and assault.

Connor walked towards the small house across the street, the latest crime scene that he and Lieutenant Anderson had been requested to investigate. It was a homicide, a young woman found dead in her bedroom, stabbed 14 times in her sleep. However, when seeing the old police officer dead asleep on the couch after having a few bottles of whiskey (to Connor’s dismay), Connor decided he could tackle this one on his own.

The android stepped out of the self-driving taxi and walked across the road towards the scene. He made eye contact with Officer Toll, the police officer guarding the entrance to the house. He smiled politely and went to greet him until he heard a very familiar voice.

“What do you think you’re doing here, plastic?”

Gavin Reed walked up behind him with a sneer on his face. Connor turned around and smiled at him in greeting, not wanting to escalate the situation by being defensive or aggressive.

“Captain Fowler called Lieutenant Anderson and I and wanted us to investigate the crime scene, but I decided to go alone.”

“Ah! Your owner too drunk to stand up?” Reed laughed.

Connor sighed. “If you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.” He quickly strode towards the entrance of the small building before Gavin had the chance to say or do anything else.

He sprung upstairs and into the master bedroom, but instead of finding a corpse and evidence as he expected, there was nothing. The room was cleaned from head to toe. Nothing to analyze, no clues, no nothing. Connor frowned as he heard the floorboards creak behind him, knowing Reed had gone upstairs after him.

“Why is everything gone? The body is supposed to be here,” Connor said.

“You have no business being here,” Gavin sneered.

Connor turned around and crossed his arms. “Captain Fowler specifically requested me to be here, I don’t think he’d appreciate you blocking me. I am an android, I can do things that would be beneficial for this investigation that you are unable to.”

“We’ve been doing good on our own, we don’t need a machine to do our work for us.”

“Reed, do not get me wrong. You are a good detective, but with all due respect, I need to see that body to make sure there is nothing missing. I was built for detective work, I see things that you can’t.”

“ _That body?_ Jesus, she was a living being! Not just a body for you to look at! And people claim your kind has feelings,” he huffed a laugh. “Right.”

“Reed, please. Fowler wanted me to be here and I just want to catch this killer.”

“Fowler isn’t always right. Get out of here.”

Connor sighed and stood tall. “No.”

“No?” Gavin asked in a mocking tone and licked his lips. He looked Connor in the eye as he pulled his arm backward and turned his hand into a fist as he prepared to punch Connor in the face, but the android was faster, having deduced this scenario from miles away.

Connor quickly ducked and grabbed the detective by the arm to block the punch, and the fight escalated fast. Tumbling around the room, both of them were trying to get the upper hand as punches and kicks were flying across the walls. As Reed momentarily gained dominance, he grabbed a short metal pole that was lying on the floor and hit Connor’s head with all power he could muster. The android heard a revolting crunch as his skull was hit, the blow leaving him dizzy and nauseous, his field of vision clouding with error messages and popups telling him to immediately contact CyberLife.

He could barely move, feeling sluggish and slow, almost like he had been drugged. He felt like he was underwater. He tried to yell, but his voice box was badly damaged and all that came out was a whine filled with static.

Reed stood over Connor as he repeatedly kicked him, his chassis disappearing in patches and blue blood trickling down his face. Gavin couldn’t hear over his blinding rage. Everything was a blur, and all he could focus on was making sure the robot knew its place. He suddenly stopped, looking down at the battered android when he got an idea. 

He smiled sickly.

Reed knelt above the deviant and maneuvered Connor’s body so that he was lying belly-down on the floor, completely defenseless. The detective quickly unbuckled his belt and brought his hardening member out before he unzipped the android’s pants and dragged them down, revealing pale skin.

“Always wanted to know what you’ve got going on down here, tin can.”

Connor tried to squirm and move away, but his limbs didn’t obey. All he could do was lie there and whine, confused over what was happening. He felt his blood going cold and terror running through his body as he felt hands touching his backside.

“What are you doing?” he tried to sound firm, but all that came out was a desperate whisper. “Stop! This is inappropriate!”

“Nobody has to know,” Gavin said as he spread the android’s cheeks, looking at the pink hole in front of him. He reached forward and touched it with the tip of his finger, making Connor cringe and try to move away, clenching down in an attempt to keep the detective from entering his body.

Reed moved his hands towards Connor’s hips, lifting him up a little so that he was on all fours. He stared down at the floor as he tried to keep his breathing leveled and calm. He couldn’t do anything, couldn’t say anything. His body was not meant for this, but here he was. All he could do was prepare himself for what would come next.

But nothing could’ve prepared him for what came next. The pain was searing through his body, his mouth opened wide in a silent scream. He tried crying for help, but nothing would come out except for a pathetic whimper. He felt tears building up and spilling down his cheeks as thirium dripped down between his legs. He let out a small, croaky moan.

“Fuck, you’re tight. Feels so real,” Gavin grunted as he began thrusting ruthlessly, feeling himself get more aroused just by thinking about the humiliation the android must be experiencing right now. “You like that, don’t you? Knew you’d be a fucking slut,” he whispered into Connor’s ear, making him cringe and shut his eyes tight, trying his best to escape from what was happening to him. His stress levels were critical, and it was a wonder he hadn’t self-destructed yet.

“Hank!”

The detective laughed into his ear as he used the android’s body for his own pleasure, grabbing him by the hair and shoving his teeth into the man’s neck. Connor felt like he was being ripped in half and he started to hyperventilate, tears rolling down his cheeks and saliva dripping from his open mouth.

“No…” he moaned, begging for it to be over.

The human was pounding into him and his thrusts were becoming more and more erratic, indicating he was close to orgasm. “You’re a fucking prick, but damn you’re pretty. Such a pretty little robot,” he growled as he forced himself onto the android, covering his lithe body with his own.

Connor cried, his breathing uncontrolled and clutching the floorboards, trying to find something to hold onto to keep him grounded. After a few minutes of pure agony, he felt himself being filled with something warm.

Gavin’s semen.

Reed groaned as he shot his load into the android, pulling his hair and growling animalistically until he was utterly spent, pulling out of Connor’s broken body.

He sighed and pulled up his pants and zipped up. He knelt down and grabbed Connor by the chin, forcing him to make eye contact.

“You can’t tell anybody about this, you got it?” he said. When Connor didn’t reply, he roared. “ _You got it!?_ ” The android flinched.

“Yes,” Connor whispered.

“You wait here. Officer Toll and I are leaving in 10 minutes. Don’t move a muscle until we’re gone.”

“Okay,” Connor sighed and closed his eyes, hearing the detective rise up and walk towards the door and leave the room. He could never tell anyone about this, not even Hank. He was supposed to be the second strongest and smartest android ever made. The fact that he had let this happen was humiliating. He closed his eyes, finally letting go and quietly sobbing to himself as pain seared through his body. 

After 15 minutes, Detective Reed and Officer Toll had gone home, and Connor had had enough time to repair his voice box and his hearing. He was still feeling dazed and sluggish, but he had enough strength to sit up and pull up his jeans with shaky fingers. He realized he wouldn’t be able to get home on his own, so he reluctantly called his best and only friend, Hank.

It took a few seconds before Hank picked up. “Yeah?” he sounded tired, he had obviously been asleep before his phone had started ringing.

“Hank,” he whimpered. “Please help me.”

_______________________________

After Hank had heard Connor’s gentle, desperate voice, he immediately stood up and splashed his face with cold water in an attempt to sober up. He rushed out the door and sat down in his car before driving to the crime scene like a maniac.

He kicked open the door to the house with his gun in hand. “Connor? Where are you?”

He heard a voice coming from upstairs. “I’m here, Hank.”

Hank stumbled up the stairs and burst through the door to the master bedroom. The first thing he saw was Connor sitting against the wall, hugging his knees. The second thing he saw was all the blue blood. He rushed forward to the android’s side with a concerned look on his face.

“Connor, Jesus! What happened here, kid?” He put his hand on Connor’s shoulder. He looked so small and vulnerable like this, and it took Hank all his strength to refrain from pulling the android into his arms.

“Nothing, Hank. I just want to go home,” he said quietly, leaning towards Hank until he was being embraced by the larger man. Hank smelt of cheap alcohol and the cologne Connor had gotten him during Christmas. The scent quickly calmed him down. Hank was safe. Hank was warm. Hank would protect him.

The older man rubbed his hand up and down Connor’s back. “Something obviously happened. You look like hell, kiddo. Be honest with me,” he said lowly, holding Connor tight.

“I just want to sleep.”

Hank sighed and let go of Connor, keeping him at arm’s length so he could properly see his injuries. His usually perfect hair was disheveled, his clothes wrinkled and his face was covered in white patches where his chassis had disappeared. His entire body was coated with blue blood. Hank felt a lump forming in his throat and frowned, becoming angry. He tried to make eye contact with the younger man, but the android kept looking down at the floor. “Look at me, Connor,” he whispered.

Connor obeyed, lifting his head up to look at Hank.

“Who did this?” He cupped the android’s face and held him in his hands.

“I didn't see,” Connor lied. He had never lied to Hank before, and he didn’t like it. He felt tears forming in his eyes.

Hank swallowed. “We need to take you to the hospital, or a CyberLife store. Fuck, I don't know. I can’t just take you home like this.”

“No, please…”

“What is this, Connor? What happened?”

When the android didn’t answer, Hank sighed and stood up, trying to get the android back on his feet, supporting him with his left arm.

“Hank…” he whispered as he leaned into the lieutenant’s side, LED spinning red.

“Yeah?”

“I…” he felt dizzy again. “It hurts,” he said before crashing to the floor, forcibly going into stasis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please lmk if you like it and if you want me to continue! Kudos and comments are appreciated :') Also, tell me if you want this to be a hankcon fic or if you'd rather want Hank and Connor to have a father/son relationship in this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor is at the hospital, Hank is feeling guilty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning! Mentions of rape and slight victim-blaming.

Hank sat in the plastic seat with a lukewarm cup of coffee in his hands, bouncing his leg up and down nervously. Right after Connor had collapsed, Hank called an ambulance and they were taken to a hospital specifically for androids. Connor was rushed into surgery (repairment?) and he had been in there ever since. It’s been an hour and a half, and nobody would tell Hank what was going on.

Hank kept seeing his friend falling down to the ground in front of him, his LED turning grey and cold. It was like on a loop. Hank swallowed loudly and put his hands in his lap to stop them from shaking. He wasn’t even angry anymore, he told himself. He was sad. He felt guilty. If he had been a better friend, this would never have happened. If he had listened to Connor for once in his life and not gotten drunk, he would’ve been able to stop this from happening. He could’ve protected him.

He rubbed his hand over his face, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

While they were waiting for the ambulance to arrive back at the crime scene, he had looked over Connor’s injuries and done everything he could to help the man. He didn’t want to know what had happened, but he did. It doesn’t matter how bad he can be at his job, he is a lieutenant after all; he notices everything. He has seen thousands of cases like this ever since he started his career.

Connor had been raped.

He felt fury combined with guilt filling his chest yet again. As he heard people walking down the hallway, his ears perked up but was quickly disappointed. The nurses rushed past him, not stopping to explain the situation.

He closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead and cursing himself. He swore he would never, ever even touch alcohol again after this. This was the last time. He is not going to lose someone else.

“Hank?”

The lieutenant opened his eyes and looked up, seeing Jeffrey Fowler standing in front of him with his hands in his pockets and a somber look on his face.

“How’d you know? That we were here, I mean,” Hank asked.

“Reed called. He was apparently there just before it happened. Got punched in the face and left as quickly as he could. Guess he thought Connor would be able to protect himself.” He sat down beside Hank. “How is he doing?”

Hank sighed, running his fingers through his hair and licked his lips before talking. “I don’t know. The staff won’t tell me shit,” he frowned, contemplating whether or not he should tell the captain what happened. “I… He was raped, Jeffrey. That son of a bitch hurt Connor and…” he couldn’t finish his sentence. “Sick fucking bastard. Probably the killer too. Didn’t Reed see the guy’s face?” He turned towards the captain.

“No, he said he was wearing a mask.”

“Goddamnit,” he breathed loudly through his nose, hands turning into fists in his lap. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.  

“You should’ve seen him, Jeffrey. When he collapsed, I thought he was going to die. Fuck, maybe he’s dead and I don’t even know it yet,” he shut his eyes tightly, refusing to let a single tear slip.

“Hank, he’s a strong kid. He’s not dead”.

“How do you know?”, he snapped. “You’re the one who told us to go there”, he said in a low voice, trembling with rage. He felt the hand leave his shoulder.

“Don’t turn this on me, Hank. I am not the one to blame here. He is the strongest android out there, he has taken risks like these before. It is not my fault.”

Hank stood up, pointing an accusing finger at the captain, barely containing his anger anymore. “So it’s  _ Connor’s _ fault he got raped? Is that what you’re saying!?” he yelled.

Fowler stood up, raising his hands in defense. “I am not saying that, Hank. You are twisting my words. I know you are upset, but this is nobody’s fault except that man’s and you know it.”

Hank sighed loudly, lowering his arm and putting them on his hips, immediately regretting lashing out at his boss. “I know, I know. Fuck. I’m sorry,” he said in a small voice. “I just… I can’t stop seeing it. I know people are fucked up. If they weren’t, we wouldn’t have our jobs, but…” he paused. “I don’t know,” he finished, not knowing what to say.

Jeffrey approached him slowly like he was a scared animal, once again putting his hand on the lieutenant's shoulder. “I get it. Don’t worry about coming into work for a while, just take care of him, yeah?” 

Hank nodded. He was about to say something else, about to thank Fowler for his kindness when Detective Reed noisily entered the waiting room, his face covered in bruises as he approached the older men.

“Hey. How is he?” he asked.

Hank growled, looking at Reed with fury in his eyes. “You were there, and you just fucked off! Why the hell didn’t you help him, you prick!?” he growled, poking Gavin in the chest with his finger. He knew he wasn’t thinking straight. He was upset, angry and still a little drunk, but being self-aware had never stopped him from turning his anger towards other people.

“I thought he would protect himself! He’s an android, he’s supposed to be strong”, he replied innocently. Gavin sighed quietly, looking Hank in the eye. “Listen, I’m sorry. I should’ve been there. It’s my fault,” he shrugged, looking down.

Hank took a deep breath and backed away, crossing his arms. He never thought he would feel bad for the infamous asshole Gavin-fucking-Reed, but there he was. “Don’t worry about it. You’re not to blame here,” he said. He rubbed the back of his neck and sat down in the plastic seat as he grabbed his long-forgotten cup of coffee. “Nobody has told us anything yet. Hopefully, he’ll be fine. Physically, at least.”

Reed nodded with a sad look on his face. Hank looked up at him from his place in the cold, plastic seat. Reed has never cared about Connor before, why does it matter to him now? Fowler turned to the young detective with a serious look on his face. “What happened, Reed? What’s your story?”

Gavin took a deep breath. He had carefully crafted the story before arriving to make sure everything made sense and added up. “Officer Toll and I were at the crime scene at around 12:30 AM, ready to leave in about half an hour when Connor showed up. He went upstairs inside the bedroom and I followed after him. We had cleaned up the crime scene before he got there and he became a little upset. We talked for a bit and after a few minutes some dude walked in the room. A guy, about 6 feet tall. He was wearing a ski mask so neither of us could see what he looked like,” he paused, his face looking pale.

“Please, go on,” Hank said.

Gavin sighed and slowly began speaking again. “He attacked me, punched me in the face. I fell down, and as he shifted his focus onto Connor, I just got out of there. I told Officer Toll what was happening and we left. I went to the hospital to get my injuries checked and then I called you. We thought the tin can would do okay on its own, you know?” he paused. “Guess we were wrong. Didn’t think this would happen.”

Fowler put a comforting hand on the back of Gavin’s neck. “None of us did. I should really give you a punishment for cleaning up the crime scene before Connor could get there, but I’m guessing you’ve gone through enough for one night.” 

“Thank you, Captain,” he whispered.

Jeffrey retrieved his hand and pursed his lips, deep in thoughts. “Hank, I think you could be right. This guy might be our killer too,” he said. “I bet he stuck around after the murder to watch us investigate. Guess he sneaked in when Toll wasn’t looking and took his chance?”

“Sounds plausible”, Hank sighed. “Sick fuck,” he glared, lost in his own horrible thoughts.

Reed looked pale, his hands shaking. Fowler turned around to look at the younger detective with a gentle yet firm look on his face. “Go home, Reed. Get some rest. You deserve it.”

Gavin let out a breath of air. “Thank you, Captain,” he turned around and begun walking down the hallway before pausing in his steps. “Tell me how it goes for him, yeah?” the question was directed at Hank.

“Yeah, will do.”

“Thanks,” he said before finally leaving the waiting room, ready to go home, get into bed and fall asleep.

* * *

After another hour of waiting, they finally heard the doors to the waiting room opening. A doctor (technician?) walked towards them with a serious look on her face.

“Are you Connor’s family?” she asked.

Hank stepped forward, standing tall. “Yeah,” he said. “I mean, we’re as good as family, anyway. We live together,” he coughed. “I’m lieutenant Hank Anderson, and this is Captain Jeffrey Fowler, Connor’s boss.”

The doctor nodded. “Connor is stable and awake. He is still in a bit of pain, unfortunately, but he is not in any danger. His programs are working perfectly and physically, he is doing good. He is just as good as new. He’ll be able to leave today,” she paused before continuing. “Connor asked to see you, lieutenant.”

His eyebrows shot up. “He asked to see me? Can I come in?”

The doctor nodded again. “Yes. Down the hallway, thirteenth door to the right.”

* * *

Hank walked in and shut the door behind him. He looked at the android lying in the hospital bed in front of him. All the bruises and thirium Hank had seen back in the ambulance were gone. It was like nothing had ever happened. Connor’s LED was spinning blue, but his eyes were closed. Hank stepped forward and perched himself on the chair beside the bed, gently grabbing Connor’s hand and stroking his thumb over his knuckles.

Connor opened his eyes and looked at Hank with a tired look on his face. Regardless of everything that he felt and everything that happened, he smiled sweetly up at the older man, happy to see him.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” Hank replied, a sad smile spreading across his face. He leaned forward to run his fingers through the android’s hair, tucking a stray piece behind his ear. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired. Wanna go home.”

“I know. You’ll get to go home soon. Sumo missed ya,” he said, his blue eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

“Mm. I missed him too,” Connor closed his eyes and gripped Hank’s hand tighter.

“Fowler’s outside. He’s been waiting for you to wake up for over an hour,” he said. He sighed before continuing. “We want to know what happened, kid.”

Connor opened his eyes, looking down and their interlocked hands and frowning. “I don’t remember,” he said. Another lie. He remembered plenty, he remembered too much.

Hank sighed. “You sure? Well… Have they- the doctor and nurses- did they tell you what happened?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” he rubbed his hand over his face. “Reed told us his side of the story.” He noticed the android going pale and his eyes widened, sitting up slightly. The lieutenant was surprised by the strong reaction.

“What?” Connor asked softly.

“Yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “He’s sorry he didn’t protect you from the attacker. He thought you’d manage on your own,” he sighed.

“Oh,” Connor blinked and sank down into the bed again, looking sorrowful. They were quiet for a while, conversation coming to a lull until Hank decided to open his mouth again.

“I’m sorry too.”

Connor looked up at the older man in surprise and confusion. “For what?”

Hank took a deep breath, trying to ground himself as guilt seized him. “For not being there. For not protecting you. I shouldn’t have drunk tonight. It’s my fault. If I had listened to you, you wouldn’t be here,” he looked down. “I’m a shit friend, don’t get why you stick around.”

Connor sighed, eyes filling with tears as he felt his lips begin to tremble slightly. “It’s not your fault, Hank. Not even I saw this coming,” he said, the latter statement making him feel embarrassed.

“Still. I’m sorry. Friends are supposed to fucking be there for each other, and I wasn’t, and it resulted in you getting hurt. I can’t…” he closed his eyes. “I’m just sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Hank,” he said quietly.

Hank huffed a trembling laugh, shaking his head. “Fuck, I can’t believe you’re comforting me right now. It’s supposed to be the other way around, you know? You were fucking raped and I’m making it all about me,” he saw the android flinch at the word ‘rape’ and he once again felt guilt creeping up his throat. He coughed. “How are you doing?” He leaned forward to take Connor’s hand in his for the second time that day.

Connor exhaled, tears threatening to spill down his freckled cheeks. “I’m tired,” he said, trying to keep it together. He felt a single tear slip down his face and Hank reached out to rub it away with his thumb. “It felt like I was going to die, Hank. I couldn’t do anything,” he paused, trying not to sob. “I was completely useless. I told him no but he didn’t listen. I tried, I tried, I tried,” he brought his fist towards his mouth, biting down on his knuckles in an attempt to keep his cries at bay.

Hank leaned forward to pull the android’s hand out of his mouth and embraced him tightly, kissing the top of his head. “I know, Connor. I know. It’s okay,” he whispered. “You don’t have to tell me everything if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” he whimpered. “But it’s so humiliating.” Hank pulled back an inch to make eye contact with Connor, looking into those puffy, wet brown eyes.

“Why is it humiliating, Connor?”

The android took a deep breath before speaking. “What if I wanted it?”

Hank frowned deeply, his hands tightening on Connor’s shoulders. “What do you mean, Connor?”

“Aside from RK900, I am the strongest, fastest and smartest android ever created. Maybe I didn’t fight back because I subconsciously wanted it?” his voice was shaking like mad, his entire body trembling as he looked at Hank.

“You know that is not true. He hit you. You were defenseless, Connor. You did not want it, and it was not your fault, you fucking hear me? Don’t you ever think that,” his anger was revealing itself in Hank’s rising voice. He inhaled and exhaled slowly to calm himself down. This android, this boy, had been so innocent. So curious, inquisitive, happy and _kind. _ In a matter of minutes, all that had been stripped away from him by some sick, demented fuck.

Connor remained silent, clinging to Hank’s shirt as he began letting go, sobbing into the lieutenant's chest. Hank held him tightly, wanting to protect him from all the evil in the world. He would do anything to make Connor okay again, but all he was able to do was sit there and hold him in his arms. It was something he hadn’t felt since Cole.

“I didn’t want it,” Connor repeated, clutching the back of Hank’s shirt and hiccuping between sobs.

“You didn’t want it,” Hank parroted, whispering into Connor’s brown locks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still don't know if I should make this a hankcon fic or not! If I do, it'll probably be late in the story. Just don't want it to seem like I'm romanticizing trauma and I don't want it to look like I'm shifting the focus from rape recovery to romance ya know :-)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Hank go back to work, it doesn't go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for slight sexual harassment and a lot of crying.

Connor had been quiet ever since they left the hospital. All he had done after entering Hank’s house was greet Sumo and take a shower, then plop down on the couch beside Hank to watch TV. The older man was not going to force the android to talk, but he couldn’t help feeling concerned. He felt his hands shake slightly as he breathed deeply. He needed to get drunk. Everything felt tight and uncomfortable and he didn’t know what to do.

“Hank, I can practically hear you thinking. Just say what you want to say,” Connor said gently while absentmindedly petting the large Saint Bernard.

Hank took a deep breath. “Are you okay? Do you… want to talk about it?”

Connor looked down at where Sumo was resting below his feet. “I don’t know.”

“Well, how do you want me to act? I can’t imagine you’d want me to treat you differently now, but I don’t want to act like nothing happened either. Just don’t want to upset you, Connor.”

“I understand. It just makes me feel uneasy when you’re overthinking everything. It is a little out-of-character for you,” he huffed a laugh before continuing. “We are still friends, right?”

Hank turned around so quickly Connor was afraid he would break his back. His eyebrows were furrowed and his blue eyes were open wide, mouth agape in surprise. “The fuck? Of course we are! Why would you even ask that, you dummy?”

Connor smiled a bit, raising his hand to giggle into it. “Good. I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable… around me. I guess,” he said softly.

Hank sighed. “You are not making me uncomfortable, Connor. Again, I just want to make sure I don’t upset you,” he leaned forward to put his arm around the android’s shoulders, tugging him forward until their sides were pressed together and Connor rested his head on Hank’s shoulder.

“Nothing you do upsets me,” he said, looking at the TV which was broadcasting an old animated movie.

“Just let me know if I fuck up, yeah?”

“Promise,” he smiled. “You smell nice,” changing the subject.

Hank laughed out loud, crow’s feet showing in the corner of his eyes. “Yeah? What do I smell like?”

Connor inhaled quietly, adjusting his body so that they were properly cuddling on the old couch. “Like home,” he whispered.

Hank smiled and felt a lump form in his throat. Instead of saying anything, he turned his head and pressed a small kiss into Connor’s hair, breathing heavily. They continued the evening uninterrupted, watching various movies from Hank’s youth. It almost felt like everything was okay. Almost.

* * *

Hank woke up at approximately 3 AM by some strange noises. He twisted around his bed to turn on the lamp placed on his bedside table, squinting at the sudden burst of light. He scratched his chest over his t-shirt as he tried to figure out what woke him.

The noise came from the living room. It took Hank a minute for him to realize it sounded a lot like muffled sobbing. He frowned and stood up on weak and newly-awake legs, pulling on a pair of old sweatpants before quietly walking out the door, making his way down the dim hallway until he saw Connor. The boy was sitting on the couch, crouched over a confused Sumo and crying into the dog’s fur. When hearing Hanks footsteps, he looked up and sat with his back straight, hastily wiping wet tears from his face.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said shakily.

Hank took slow steps forward, making sure it was okay for him to come closer. “It’s okay, don’t worry about me. You should’ve woken me up if you were feeling sad.”

“Didn’t wanna disturb you,” he sniffled.

Hank stood beside the couch. “Is it okay if I sit down?” When the android nodded Hank sat down with a quiet sigh. Sumo was lying on the couch, his head resting on Connor’s lap.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked.

Connor bit down on his lower lip, a habit he had picked up from Hank. He looked down at the floor, at Sumo, at the coffee table, anything that wasn’t the lieutenant. He shrugged silently. “I woke up. I don’t feel very good.” Hank remained quiet, waiting for Connor to continue. The android swallowed. “I-I feel scared, Hank.”

When Connor didn’t say anything else, Hank leaned forward and rubbed a hand over his beard. “Why do you feel scared, kid?”

“Don’t know. I just do. How can I feel something without knowing why?” he looked up at Hank, finally meeting his eyes. He knew he was afraid of meeting Gavin in person again. He was afraid of getting hurt. He was afraid of people finding out. But Hank’s house was safe, _Hank_ was safe, so why did he feel this way here and now?

“That happens, kiddo. Emotions are difficult to figure out sometimes. They tend to have a mind of their own,” he looked at Connor with a sad expression on his face. “I’ve had feelings for almost 54 years and I still have trouble figuring them out. You’re okay, Connor.”

Connor held his hands together in his lap, looking down at them. “I feel lost, and dirty. I can still feel him… All over me. I want it gone. I want all of it gone,” he felt a single tear falling down his face and saw it landing on his grey sweatpants, forming a small wet circle.

Hank furrowed his eyebrows, his chest filling up with sadness and grief. “Can I hug you?” he asked.

Connor nodded, and Hank instantly wrapped his arms around the android, pulling him into a tight embrace. “You are not dirty, Connor,” he whispered into the boy’s hair. “You are not disgusting, or anything like it. This will hurt for a long time, kid, but you’ll get through it. You are so, so strong, Connor.”

The android started softly crying into the man’s t-shirt, clutching it with his hands. ”But why does it have to hurt? I don’t understand.”

“What you went through… It’s horrible. Things like that change people. You don’t have to understand it, Connor. It just is, but what’s important is moving forward. We’ll get through this together, yeah?”

“Yeah,” the android silently agreed, putting his ear to the lieutenant's chest, breathing in Hank’s calming scent and listening to his muffled heartbeat. “I’m sleepy.”

“I bet,” Hank said before coughing. “Uh… Do you wanna sleep in my bed tonight, with me? You don’t have to! Just thought… Fuck, maybe you’d feel safer? I don’t know,” he said, instantly backtracking when the android didn’t say anything.

Connor looked up at Hank, eyes glazed with gratefulness. “Really? I can do that?” he asked.

Hank rubbed the back of his neck, chewing his bottom lip. “I mean, yeah, if you wanna. The bed is big enough,” he shrugged.

Connor smiled, hugging Hank tight. “Thank you.”

* * *

Connor and Hank had been out of the hospital for a couple of days when the lieutenant got an urgent call from Captain Fowler. They had stayed at home, just resting and taking it easy. Everything seemed perfectly normal during the day. Connor made dinner, they played with Sumo, watched some TV and then went to bed. But when the sun went down, Connor’s demons started making an appearance and he was no longer able to hold it in anymore. It was okay, though, because Hank was always there to hold him when he became scared.

When Fowler called, Connor was making lunch for Hank as the lieutenant played with the large Saint Bernard. Hank rose up from his place on the floor, popped his lower back and walked towards the coffee table where his phone was ringing. He looked down at the screen to see who was calling and picked up.

“Hank Anderson,” he muttered.

“Hank. It’s Fowler. Sorry, I don’t mean to disturb you and Connor, but…” he paused. Hank saw in the corner of his eye that Connor had stopped working in the kitchen and listened in to their conversation instead, looking at the older man.

“What’s going on?” Hank asked.

He heard Fowler sigh. “We need you and Connor’s help with the case.”

Hank spluttered, frowning hard. “Why? Isn’t Nines there?”

“He is, but he’s too busy with the Grant case right now. We’d really appreciate Connor’s help right now, but I understand if you’d rather stay home a while longer,” he said over the phone.

“Yeah, he needs rest! There’s no way he can go back to work ri-” He was quickly interrupted by Connor before he could finish his sentence. The android strode forward, harshly grabbing Hank’s phone and put it to his ear.

“Fowler! I’d love to come back to work.”

Hank looked up at the ceiling in disbelief. “Connor, you can’t be serious! It hasn’t even been a week yet!”

“I need to get out the house, Hank. It’s driving me mad!”

“We can go outside and take Sumo to the park if you’d want to! You don’t have to go back to work!” Hank complained.

“But I want to help! I want to make myself useful and just go back to normal,” Connor snapped. Fowler had been quiet during their dispute, but when things turned quiet he opened his mouth and began speaking again.

“Right. Come in tomorrow if you still feel like it, Connor. Nobody’s gonna judge you for taking more time off,” he said.

“Thank you, Captain,” Connor said before hanging up.

He turned around and saw Hank looking at him with wide eyes, arms outstretched at his sides as of saying ‘what the fuck?’. Hank began protesting. “There’s no way you’re going back to work right now, you need rest!”

Connor sighed loudly and handed the phone back to Hank. “It’s what I want. I need something to distract me. I need to do something. Please, Hank,” he begged.

Hank’s eyes turned gentle, his firm look quickly being replaced by something softer. “Fine. But if you feel bad, for even a second, we’re getting the fuck out of there. Got it?”

 _Got it? You can’t tell anybody about this, you got it?_ Connor looked down at the floor distractedly, feeling shaky and sick by the tiny flashback.

“Connor?” Hank asked, reaching forward. “You there, kid?”

Connor looked up quickly, LED spinning between red and yellow so quickly it was creating a warm clementine color. He exhaled quickly, feeling dizzy. “Yes. Yes, I’m here.”  

Hank looked at him with a concerned look in his eyes. “You sure? You drifted away there for a second.”

“I’m fine, just… Please don’t say ‘got it’? _He_ said that, afterward,” Connor shuddered, hugging himself tight. Hank looked at him in confusion before nodding in understanding.

“Of course, I promise I won’t say it again. Anything else I should know?” Hank asked gently.

“No,” he paused. “I don’t know. I’ll mention it to you if I ever feel like that again,” he said.

“Thanks for telling me, kid,” Hank smiled. “How about you sit down and watch something on the TV while I finish the cooking, yeah?”

* * *

When they stepped into the precinct the next day they had barely had enough time to sit down at their desks and log in on their computers before Fowler stepped out into the bullpen, calling for Connor to come into his office. Connor glanced at Hank, silently begging for his guardian to come with. Ever since they had walked in, they had been met with curious looks and quiet mumbling from their co-workers. Everyone seemed to be avoiding them. It was driving Hank mad, and Connor pretended not to care.

Hank sighed and nodded, slowly rising out of his chair and making his way towards Fowler’s office with Connor in his heels.

Hank opened the door and walked in, sitting down in one of the chairs in front of the captain. “Is it okay if I’m here too?” he asked.

Fowler looked up with a frown on his face. “Yeah, I guess. Sit down, Connor,” he ordered. “I’m going to inform you both about the latest homicide, but I wanted to talk to Connor first. The hospital still has the… DNA sampled. By analyzing it, we’ll be able to identify your attacker and possibly the killer too. I wanted to tell you before we did anything,” he said, resting his elbows on his desk.

Connor felt panic seize him. He swallowed hard and tried his best to hide the trembling in his hands. “My attacker was not the killer,” he sputtered out. He took a breath. “The killer is the victim’s brother-in-law. Case closed,” he said. “He was on the other side of Detroit when I was at the crime scene, it is impossible for him to have been my attacker.”

Both Fowler and Hank looked at him with confused looks on their faces. Fowler sighed, leaning back into his chair. “Well, you still gotta file a report on the incident. There is enough evidence, we’ll find the guy and put him in prison,” he said.

“Do I have to?”

Fowler’s frown deepened, looking at Connor. “If you want justice, yes.”

Connor looked down at his hands sitting in his lap. “I don’t want to file a report.”

There was a tense silence before Hank spoke up, rising out of the chair and standing up on his feet. “What the fuck do you mean, Connor? Of course you wanna report this! Don’t you want justice?”

Connor looked up at the lieutenant, trying his best for his expression to remain cold and calm. “It’s over, Hank. I just want to go back to normal,” he muttered.

Hank couldn’t believe his ears. He began pacing around the office, hands on his hips. “He hurt you, Connor! He...” he paused, bracing himself before speaking again. “He _raped_ you!”

Connor flinched and stood up, on the defense. “I can’t be raped, lieutenant. I’m not a person.”

Hank absolutely seethed. “You are a person, Connor! Don’t you pull that shit on me!” he yelled, pointing a finger at the android. He knew he shouldn’t be losing his temper like this, especially not at Connor, but he couldn’t help it. “You have thoughts and feelings. You are just as human as everyone else in this goddamn office!”

“You used to hate androids too!”

“Yeah, I fucking know!”

“You pointed a gun at me!”

“I fucking know! But it doesn’t matter how much I hated androids back then, I would never do something as fucked up as… as _that!_ That man is insane!”

Fowler stood up, slamming his hands down on the desk to get their attention. “Shut the fuck up, both of you. If Connor doesn’t want to report this, that’s his choice. You can’t make these decisions for him, Hank.”

Hank frowned, breathing heavily as his hands turned into fists, angrily shaking his head. He walked towards the door before speaking. “You’ll regret this, Connor,” he said before leaving the office, slamming the door behind him and walking to his desk in a huff.

Connor exhaled deeply, looking down at the floor and clasped his hands tightly behind his back.

“You sure this is what you want to do, kid?” the captain asked.

“Yes, sir,” he replied.

“Okay,” Fowler sighed before sitting down. “I’ll send you two the case,” he said as he picked up a cup of coffee, silently sipping on it while he waited for Connor to leave.

When he closed the door gently behind him he looked around the bullpen, frowning slightly before walking statically to the breakroom, planning on making Hank some coffee in apology.

As he made his way forward, he immediately felt his blood going cold. Reed was leaning against one of the round tables with Tina Chen and Officer MacKay, deep in conversation. Seeing Gavin after everything that happened made Connor almost feel paralyzed and he forcibly stopped in his tracks. He was quickly brought back to the present, though, when Collins accidentally ran into him, apologizing and promptly continuing on his way.

Connor took a deep breath before proceeding his short walk to the break room. He couldn’t avoid the detective forever, after all. As he went to the coffee machine and brought out the lieutenant’s mug from the cabinet, he could feel eyes upon him. The room had become uncomfortably quiet and Connor’s body tensed up involuntarily.

He heard someone huff a laugh, presumably Officer MacKay, who was known to be anti-android. “How are you doing, Connor?” he asked, trying to sound sympathetic. When Connor didn’t respond he spoke again, more aggressive this time. “I’m talking to you, asshole.”

Connor filled up Hank’s mug with black coffee. “And I’m ignoring you,” he muttered quietly before adding two sugars, just how the lieutenant liked it.

MacKay barked a laugh. “Funny,” he said. “Listen, there have been some rumors going around the precinct and I’m wondering if they’re true,” he moved away from his place by the table to approach the android.

“What do you mean?” Connor asked, finally turning around to look at the balding officer.

“I heard you’ve finally lost your virginity. Is it true?” he smirked. Tina rolled her eyes at her friend's shenanigans. 

Connor swallowed before grabbing the cup, trying to leave the break room as quickly as he could, but the officer hastily moved to stand in front of him, blocking his way. “Excuse me,” Connor said, looking over MacKay’s shoulder and towards Hank’s desk.

“I’ll take it as a yes, then! You know what? I’ve always thought you were really pretty,” he muttered. “Could show you a real good time,” he smiled sickly.

“Quit it, Bill,” the voice, to Connor’s surprise, came from Reed. The android turned around to look at him, properly seeing his face for the first time in days. It made his knees feel weak. Gavin smiled at him.

But Officer MacKay didn’t notice Reed’s comment, or he just didn’t care. He reached forward when Connor wasn’t looking and grabbed the android by the crotch over his jeans, fondling him. Connor jumped and let out a tiny sob before pushing the officer away, feeling his eyes fill with tears as he heard coffee splash to the floor.

“Can’t take a joke?” he asked, laughing.

Suddenly, Connor heard someone stomp into the break room and begin barking. “What the fuck is going on here?” Hank yelled. “Don’t you fucking touch him!” He came to Connor’s defense, swiftly putting his arm around the android’s shoulders in an attempt to shield him.

“We’re just having a bit of fun!” MacKay defended himself, bringing his hands up in front of him while smiling innocently.

“Yeah, right!” his face was red with fury, having seen the entire incident. “I could fucking kill you right now!”

Everything was blurring for Connor, his vision was cloudy and he felt ill. It was all too much, people were yelling and he heard Fowler stomping in, causing even more of a ruckus. It was overwhelming. “Stop yelling,” he whispered, but nobody heard him over the angry roaring. He covered his ears with his hands and freed himself from Hank’s hold, power-walking out of the break room, down the hallway and into the bathroom before locking himself in one of the stalls, not caring about causing a scene.

He couldn’t breathe and his entire body was shaking. He sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, looking down at the dirty floor as he began to slightly rock forwards and backward, his hands still over his ears and his fingers pulling on his hair. He sniffled as he cried, trying his best to keep quiet but failing.

He felt dirty, his skin was itching and crawling. He began to scratch his arms erratically, blue blood appearing where he clawed at his limbs. When he heard the door to the restroom open, he stopped and looked up with bleary eyes.

Footsteps approached his stall and the person knocked on the door. “Connor? You in there?” It was Chris.

Connor heaved, rubbing his face with his hands and hurriedly wiping his wet cheeks. He stood up on shaky legs and unlocked the door, stepping outside to meet the police officer.

Chris gulped as he saw Connor’s injured arms. “We gotta clean you up, Connor. Come to the sink, I’ll help you out”, he led the android to the opposite side of the room before turning the tap on. Connor didn’t mention that water wouldn’t do anything to his wounds, he simply accepted the help, too tired to say anything.

“Where’s Hank?” he asked.

Chris wiped away the blood with lukewarm water before turning off the tap and covering Connor’s lacerations with paper. “He’s out there, talking to Fowler about what happened. He got really worried about you,” he sighed. “How are you doing, Connor?”

The android looked down at his paper-covered forearm. “Tired, I guess.”

Chris smiled slightly in sympathy. “Do you want me to go get Anderson?”

When Connor nodded, he went outside to get the lieutenant.

* * *

Hank looked over his shoulder as the android stormed out of the break room and down the hallway, clearly in tears. Hank felt his heart tug in his chest and he went to follow the younger man, but Chris quickly put a hand against his chest to stop him and offered to look after the android instead.

Fowler’s booming voice filled the precinct. “What is going on here?”

Hank and MacKay were instantly yelling over each other, both enraged and trying to explain the situation from their point of view. “Okay, fine. Shut up!” Fowler yelled. “Hank, tell me what happened.”

“Workplace bullying! This asshole molested Connor, touched him between his legs! This is sexual fucking harassment,” he growled.

“It was just a joke!” MacKay said, smiling and acting completely innocent.

“You taunted a _rape victim!_ ”

“Rape victim? It’s just an android, for god’s sake!” he laughed.

“Connor is considered a person now, MacKay. You may not like it, but it is the law. This will have consequences, trust me,” Fowler barked. “You are suspended until further notice, now get out of my sight.”

MacKay’s smirk fell. “What? You can’t do that, Captain!” He looked behind him towards Gavin and Tina, silently asking for support.

Gavin shrugged before crossing his arms. “I don’t like the plastic prick either but that was too far, man.” Tina nodded along. 

MacKay sighed. “It was just a joke,” he said in a small voice.

“Well, your hilarious ‘joke’ backfired. Go home, MacKay. And you,” Fowler turned towards Hank. “Take care of him,” he pointed towards the hallway before turning around and stomping back into his office, slamming the door behind him.

That’s when Chris came back into the break room, tugging at Hank’s shirt sleeve to get his attention. “Connor wants you,” he said softly.

Hank sighed, shutting his eyes tight before briskly making his way down the hallway toward the bathroom. He opened the door gently before shutting it quietly behind him. He saw Connor leaning against the long sink, looking down at his arms which were covered in scratch marks.

Hank walked forward and took Connor’s right arm in his hand, looking at the injuries.

“It’ll be completely healed in 8 minutes,” Connor whispered. Hank sighed.

“Did you do this?”

“I guess. But I wasn’t really thinking. I felt overwhelmed,” he pouted slightly.

Hank pulled the android into a hug. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I shouldn’t have caused such a scene.”

“Are you mad at me?” Connor asked into the lieutenant’s shoulder.

“No, Connor. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at everyone else, not at you,” he muttered. “I think we should head home, yeah? You’ve been through enough for one day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated! I'm pretty sure I'll keep Hank and Connor's relationship in this father/son, I feel like it fits the story better. Hope nobody is disappointed about that!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines comes to visit and Connor has a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for depictions of rape in a flashback/dream scene.

It was approximately 7 PM when they heard someone knock on the door. Hank had just finished eating his dinner and sat down on the couch to sip on a beer (he’d only have one, he promised himself) while watching the baseball game on TV. Connor was happily playing with Sumo on the floor.

The android looked up, watching the door. Hank turned around slightly before sighing. “I’ll get it,” he said and put his beer down. He rose up and made his way toward the door, not caring that he was only dressed in a dirty shirt and a pair of his old sweatpants.

Hank opened and was surprised to see Nines standing there, patiently waiting to be let in. “Hello, Lieutenant,” he greeted, smiling politely.

“Uh, hi,” Hank replied, stumbling over his words slightly.

“Can I come in?”

Hank cleared his throat. “Yeah. Sure, sure,” he stepped aside to invite the blue-eyed android in, closing the door behind him as Nines swiftly removed his shoes and his jacket. He always insisted on keeping things prim and proper. 

“Hello, Connor,” Nines said, walking towards the other android who was sitting on the floor and petting the large dog.

“Hi,” Connor replied quietly. The two deviants had a very complicated relationship, in a way. Nines was very loving, regarding Connor as a little brother and always fussing over him. Connor on the other hand- He cared for Nines immensely, don’t get him wrong, but he always felt inadequate in his presence. It was nothing Nines had done or said, Connor just couldn’t help it.

“I heard about what happened. I just wanted to stop by and see if you were doing alright,” he knelt beside his brother, reaching out to pet Sumo alongside him.

“I’m good,” Connor said.

“You sure?” he looked at the other android who was refusing to meet eye contact, LED spinning yellow. Hank stood in the corner with crossed arms, silently observing them. “I heard the story, but I would like to hear it again, from _you_ this time. Things don’t add up, Connor. I find it all very strange,” he murmured, trying his best to be gentle and patient.

“It doesn’t matter,” Connor sighed. “It’s over. I don’t have to tell anyone anything,” he whispered, looking down at where his hand was stroking soft fur.

“Connor…” Nines looked at him sympathetically. “I know you are hurting. If you feel uncomfortable, or embarrassed, that’s understandable. But I-” he paused before correcting himself. “ _We_ just want to help you. Tell me what happened, please.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“What do you remember?”

Connor chewed on his lower lip, feeling a large lump forming in his throat. “I was at the crime scene with Detective Reed when my attacker walked in. He proceeded to hit my head with a metal pole, damaging my hearing, voice box and my ability to control movements. I couldn’t defend myself,” he sighed. “I blacked out during… the middle of it. I’m not sure for how long.”

Nines observed him closely, leaning forward. “Don’t lie to me, Connor.” The brown-eyed android looked up sharply as Hank raised his eyebrows from his spot against the wall. “I know you are embarrassed. I know it hurts, but you have to be honest. You have to let us help you. If you let this man go, you will regret it for the rest of your life, baby brother,” he took a deep breath. “It will destroy you. If this man escapes justice, you will never find closure, he will have won.”

Connor looked down, feeling the lump in his throat getting bigger. He bit back tears trying to reach the surface. “I don’t want to,” he frowned.

“Don’t want to what?”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” he let out a small sob. Hank took a step towards the brothers, feeling himself getting on edge. “I just want to forget but everyone else wants to keep talking about it and they keep pestering me! I don’t want to do this anymore, I just want to feel like _me_ again,” he wiped his wet cheeks with the back of his hand.

Nines furrowed his eyebrows before sighing softly. “Connor, is it okay if I have a word with Lieutenant Anderson for a moment? Alone?”

Connor nodded softly, rising up to his feet before padding towards the dim-lit hallway and into Hank’s bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Hank looked at Nines with a confused expression on his face. “What’s going on?”

Nines stood up, making eye contact with the older man. “Connor’s rapist is not the killer.”

Hank shrugged. “Yeah, figured as much. Do you… Do you know who it is?”

Nines shook his head. “No. But I know my brother is not telling the whole truth. I think he knows his rapist, personally. Why else would he protect him? People already know what happened, so why wouldn’t he at least file a report?”

Hank crossed his arms, frowning. “Someone he knows..? But, who?”

Nines shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said with a sorrowful tone in his voice. “He may not like it, but I will figure out who did this to him. It is not fair that that man can hurt another person and just get away with it. I won’t accept it.”

Hank nodded, breathing deeply and running his fingers through his hair, a nervous habit he had recently picked up. “Listen, I agree but we can’t exactly force him to talk. Terrorizing him would only make shit worse.”

“I know, just… Look after him? I know you are a lieutenant, but please be observant. Talk to me if you notice anything questionable,” he looked at the older man, almost pleading.

“Sure, sure,” Hank muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. He knew how much Connor meant to the other android. Nines had a funny way of showing it sometimes, but it was clear as day. 

Nines inhaled deeply. “I should probably go,” he smiled. “Tell Connor bye for me. Good evening, Lieutenant.”

And with that, Nines quickly put on his shoes and his jacket and slipped through the front door, leaving the small house.

Hank stared after him, unsure of what to do with this new information. He shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath, grounding himself before walking down the hallway, reaching the door leading to his bedroom and knocking softly. “Connor? Can I come in?” he asked.

“Yes,” he heard the android reply. Hank opened the door and saw Connor sitting on the edge of the bed, the table lamp planted on Hank's drawer being the only source of light in the room. He had his hands clasped together in his lap, looking down at them.

“You okay? Do you need anything?”

Connor didn’t say anything for a few minutes, leaving Hank standing in the doorway and contemplating whether or not he should leave the android alone. “I thought it was going to happen again,” Connor finally said, whispering. He had been thinking about the incident back at the precinct for almost the entire day. No matter what he was doing, it was always in the back of his mind. Why had Gavin defended him today? Did he do it in an attempt to make amends and apologize to Connor, or did he do it to simply look innocent in front of the other officers? Connor chewed on his bottom lip.

Did Reed regret it?

Hank furrowed his eyebrows before walking forward, sitting down on his bed beside Connor. “What?”

“When MacKay touched me. I thought it was going to happen again. I thought I was going to get hurt again,” Connor murmured, looking down.

Hank let out a deep breath and placed his hand on the android’s shoulder. “It’s okay, you’re safe now,” he comforted.

Connor leaned towards him, resting his head against the lieutenant, closing his eyes. “I’m not safe,” he said. He chewed on the inside of his cheek. “He’s still… here.”

Hank looked down at his friend. “What do you mean?”

Connor swallowed. “He’s still with me. I can still feel him... Inside me,” his voice broke as he brought a hand up towards his heart, laying the palm flat against his chest. Hank didn’t know what to say. All he was able to do was tightening his grip around Connor, making sure the android knew how loved he is. _I’ll kill that man with my bare hands,_ Hank thought. He fought against the anger rising up his chest and instead opted to press a kiss into Connor’s hair, holding him tight.

“Don’t leave me,” Connor whimpered into Hank’s embrace.

“I could never leave you,” Hank promised. “I’m here. I’ll never let anyone hurt you again,” he whispered firmly, letting the android sob into his chest.

* * *

_Connor felt hands all over him, the touch crawling on his skin. The room was dark and he couldn’t see. He was fumbling around, trying to get a grip on something to steady him. He felt someone breathe hotly into his ear, grabbing him by the back of his neck and licking his earlobe. “Pretty.”_

_The voice came from **him**. Reed was standing behind him, holding him tightly and suddenly caging him in against a wall. “You’re doing so well. So good for not snitching,” he murmured into the android’s ear, pressing his erection against the small of Connor’s back._

_“Let me go,” he whimpered. He tried to shift away, he didn’t want Reed so close to him but he found himself paralyzed. He turned his head and saw Hank and Nines standing a few feet away, watching them. “Hank!”_

_Neither of them reacted and simply kept on observing the two men. Hank had his arms crossed over his chest as Nines had his hands clasped behind his back. Connor looked down, realizing he was naked. How did that happen? He didn’t want to be here anymore._

_He felt Reed’s hands roam over his upper body, stroking his flat, hairless stomach and pressing wet, repulsive kisses into his neck. Connor felt sick. The breathing into his ear made him recoil._

_He was on the floor now, Reed looming over him. No, please. Not again. Hank, help me._

_He cried out, screaming at the top of his lungs as he felt himself being filled. He looked over at the lieutenant as he was being torn to pieces. “Make it stop,” he moaned._

_Hank looked at him, tilting his head. “Only you can stop this. Tell us what happened, Connor.”_

_“Connor?”_

* * *

“Connor?”

The android woke up with a start, his eyes snapping open as he breathed heavily. He felt himself hovering over the edge of hyperventilation. Connor took a deep breath through his mouth and looked around the room frantically, realizing he was just in Hank’s bed. Sumo laid beneath his feet and he turned his head to the right, finally seeing Hank looking down at him with a worried and scared expression on his face. Connor blinked.

“Sorry if I made noise,” he croaked, voice hoarse from the yelling he had made in his sleep.

“Don’t worry about it,” Hank whispered into the darkness. Connor’s face was stained with dried-up tears and his eyes were red-rimmed. The older man reached forward to wipe the tears away with his thumb. “Nightmare?”

Connor nodded. He had nightmares almost every time he fell asleep now, but this one had been incredibly vivid.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Hank asked, leaning on his elbow.

Connor shook his head, turning away. His throat felt dry.

Hank sighed, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. “I think you should see a therapist,” he murmured.

Connor turned his head towards the lieutenant and gave him a small smile. “Coming from you.”

“Touché,” Hank laughed before becoming serious again. “For real, though. I’m worried about you, kid.”

Before they had gotten into bed for the night, Hank had asked him if he knew who his attacker was, or if he had seen his face. He told Connor that there’s no reason to be embarrassed or scared if that was what he felt. ' _You can tell me anything,'_ he had said. The android had bristled, quickly realizing this was what Hank and Nines had been discussing when alone in the living room. Connor had shaken his head firmly, unwaveringly denying the question. Hank had left it at that, not wanting to push the android further despite being frustrated by his obvious dishonesty.

Connor didn’t want to tell _who_ did it because of numerous reasons, some he didn’t understand himself. Admitting that he had let Reed overpower him made him feel humiliated. The entire DPD would see him as a joke. What good would he be on the force if he can’t even protect himself from some human? And Gavin wasn’t even a big man, not like Hank or Captain Fowler. Connor was taller than him, too! He’d get fired for his incompetence and he would no longer have any purpose. Connor shivered.

Reed was a good detective, too. He is close to getting a promotion. Just one case away, it seemed like. It felt wrong for Connor to interfere, to ruin that man’s life and make the DPD lose a perfectly good and qualified officer, and for what? Would it make Connor feel better to get revenge? Would it bring him closure? He contemplated it and came to the conclusion that he wasn’t sure. Connor was not a malicious or violent person, he often likes to give people the benefit of the doubt. He _hated_ Gavin, he truly did. He despised the detective for breaking him and tearing his psyche to shreds. But what good does hate do?

Connor also thought back to last year when he and Hank had just started working together. Hank hated androids too. He had threatened to kill Connor on numerous occasions and even pushed him against a wall once, and Connor didn’t hold it against him now. Maybe Gavin just didn’t understand that androids were sentient, just like humans are? Maybe he just needed a wake-up-call, similar to the lieutenant?

Connor sighed, his head began to hurt.

“I’m okay,” he whispered. “Promise.” He didn’t feel the need to talk to someone. He didn’t feel like continuously bringing it up. He just wished he was able to escape from it. All he wanted was to be close to Hank and Sumo and find comfort in his small family. “Can we just go back to sleep?”

Hank nodded slowly. “Sure,” he whispered. He lazily turned over to lay on his back, closing his eyes and sighing heavily, putting a hand under his neck for support.

Connor twisted around, silently looking at the lieutenant. “Hank?” he whispered cautiously.

“Yeah?” he opened one eye.

“Can... Can you hold me?”

Hank smiled softly, moving around in the double-bed so that he was laying on his side towards the android. “‘Course. Turn over, I’ll spoon ya.”

Connor turned around and immediately felt strong arms wrapping around him and a warm body pressing up behind him. He felt safe. “Thank you, Hank.”

“No problem, kid. Go to sleep,” Connor closed his eyes, waiting for his mind to doze off. He had a warm body breathing into his neck and holding him close, but this time, Connor didn’t recoil. He welcomed the affection with open arms and a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated as always!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor tries therapy and Gavin is being oddly friendly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how to feel about this chapter y'allllll

Connor insisted on going into work the next day, determined to not let the experiences of yesterday hold him back from doing what he loves; helping people. And who was Hank to deny him that?

The day had been going smoothly so far since nobody dared to mess with Connor after MacKay got suspended. The pair had mostly just been sitting at their desks and doing paperwork, exchanging small talk and looking at evidence. It was two hours left of their workday and Connor started to notice that Hank was getting agitated. He shifted around in his seat and bounced his leg up and down, running fingers through his hair and sighing roughly, trying his best to focus on the terminal in front of him.

“Lieutenant?”

“Hm?” Hank said distractedly, not looking up. The bags under his eyes were especially prominent today, showing he hadn’t slept well the night before.

“Should I go get you some more coffee?” Hank sighed heavily at the question and closed his eyes.

“Is that even a question?” he groaned before catching himself. He looked up and smiled a tired yet grateful smile in Connor’s direction. “Yes, please,” he added. The android gave him a warm look, making sure the lieutenant knew that it’s okay. He stood up from his desk and quickly grabbed the lieutenant’s empty, coffee-stained mug as he swiftly made his way towards the break room which was, fortunately, empty. The clicking-sound from his shoes were echoing around the precinct.

Connor walked towards the coffee machine and started filling Hank’s cup up with steaming, black coffee. He reached forward to the jar where they kept their sugar cubes and picked up a pair of two before dropping them into the hot liquid like he always did. He was just about to turn around and walk back to Hank’s desk when he felt a single hand settle on the small of his back. He frowned, looking over his shoulder. Gavin.

Connor inhaled sharply and instantaneously moved away to get the man’s hands off of him while trying not to spill any coffee due to his hasty movements. Gavin raised his hands in defense, shrugging innocently.

“Hey. I just wanted to apologize about yesterday, Bill was being an ass,” he smiled. Connor looked him up and down, feeling incredibly confused. He could practically feel his LED spinning yellow as he was processing this interaction. Connor opened his mouth before closing it again, swallowing. Instead of saying anything, he began to walk away from the detective but was immediately forced to stop in his tracks when he felt Reed grip his arm tightly. The touch made the android let out a tiny gasp, but Reed didn’t seem phased by his silence and discomfort and started speaking again.

“I also wanted to say I’m sorry for last week. I’m no good at apologies but I’ve learned a lot more about androids these past few days. I wouldn’t have done what I did if I had known,” he smiled at the android. “We good?” Gavin asked, smirking. Connor looked at him, helplessly trying to figure out what was going on.

“I... Sure,” he quickly said before escaping from the break room, freeing himself from Gavin’s hold and briskly walking towards Hank’s desk, setting the mug down. It had gotten lukewarm during his and Reed’s one-sided conversation.

“What took you so long? Did anybody mess with you?” Hank asked, looking at the android with a single raised eyebrow as Connor pulled out his own chair before sitting down.

“No. The coffee machine was acting up, is all. Don’t worry,” he smiled cautiously towards the lieutenant before turning back to his computer, hurriedly going back to work. Hank frowned before nodding, silently taking a sip of his coffee and wisely choosing to not interrogate the android any further.

* * *

The next couple of days went in similar fashion. Whenever Hank and Nines weren’t looking, Gavin would be behind him and leaving lingering touches in his wake. A hand on his waist, an elbow resting on his shoulder, feathery light touches on the arm, et cetera. Connor considered telling him to stop, but Reed always seemed to move away just before it became too much for the android.

Aside from the touches, he had also turned incredibly, unnaturally friendly. It made Connor weirdly uncomfortable, knowing that this was not how the detective usually acted. Reed always seemed to ask him how his day was going nowadays, complimenting him on his shirts, and telling Connor bad puns whenever he got the chance. Come to think about it, he immensely preferred Reed the Bully before Reed the “Friend”, but he couldn’t quite figure out why. Hadn’t he wanted Gavin to be nicer to him before everything happened? It made Connor’s head hurt out of confusion.

He knew was manipulation is, and he knew that this could very well be the detective’s way of controlling the android. He is not stupid or gullible by any means, but what if Reed really was sorry? If Connor can forgive Hank for his previous acts and beliefs, why can’t he at least tolerate Gavin? Connor frowned. He hated not being able to discuss this with anyone.

That’s was when Connor decided to follow Hank’s advice and get himself a therapist. He decided to bring it up one evening right after Hank had finished his dinner.

“Hank?” he mumbled while they were sitting on the couch, watching an old sitcom on the TV. There was an empty box of pizza sitting on the coffee table and Hank was slouching, propping his feet up and lazily petting Sumo.

“Yeah?” he replied, not tearing his eyes off the TV.

“I think I want to try therapy.”

Hank turned towards the android, raising his eyebrows in surprise before breaking into a huge smile. He leaned forward to put an arm around Connor’s shoulders, pulling him into a one-armed embrace and ruffled his neat hair.

“That’s my boy! Do you want me to help you out with anything?” Hank smiled gently down at him.

Connor grinned. “No, I’m fine. I just wanted to ask if-if you’ve ever been in therapy?” he questioned, looking up at the lieutenant. “Don’t really know what to expect,” he muttered.

Hank sighed heavily through his nose and stared up at the ceiling. “I mean, yeah. But it was years ago. Got shot for the first time and my old captain forced me into therapy. It was nice talking to someone,” he smiled and shrugged, looking down at the android again.

“Why aren’t you seeing a therapist now, then?” Connor asked inquisitively.

Hank mulled over it, glancing around the room deep in thought. “I guess I’m a different person now than I was before, too tired to express my feelings and whatever. I’m more closed-off, I guess,” he sighed. “Plus, finding the right therapist can be a pain in the ass. I should probably see someone though, now that I think about it.”

Connor was quiet for a moment, silently petting a snoring Sumo before speaking up again. “If I agree to see a therapist, will you do it as well?”

Hank exhaled, looking at the TV. After a few seconds, he jerked his shoulders. “Can’t see why not. We’ll make a call tomorrow morning,” he smiled.

Connor rested his head on the lieutenant’s shoulder, closing his eyes. “Thank you.”

* * *

They were both assigned therapists the following week, and a few days later, Connor had his first therapy session. Hank was driving him to the psychiatry clinic, agreeing to come with him as moral support. Connor was fidgeting with his coin in an attempt to try and calm his nerves.

“How are you feeling?” Hank asked as made a turn towards the clinic and drove around, looking for an empty spot in the parking lot.   

“Nervous,” Connor said as Hank parked between two cars and stopped the vehicle. He pulled out the keys and they both unbuckled their seatbelts before stepping out.  

“It’ll be fine,” Hank smiled comfortingly in Connor’s direction and they both made their way through the lot, up the stairs and through the doors to the clinic. Connor registered himself as Hank sat down in the waiting room, picking up a magazine. Connor perched himself on the sofa awkwardly, placing his clasped hands on his lap as he looked around the room.

After ten minutes of quiet waiting, a kind-looking woman walked into the room. “Connor?” she asked, looking at the pair sitting on the couch.

She was a KL900 android named Martha. She had a soft face and dark skin; her entire presence expressed gentleness. She was wearing a green sweater and her hands were folded together in front of her. She had kind eyes.

“Yes, that’s me,” Connor rose up, feeling incredibly tense.

The woman smiled at him and offered a handshake. “Hello, Connor. I am Martha, your new therapist. Come with me, I’ll show you to my office,” she smiled.

Connor glanced back at Hank, who just shrugged and grinned up at him. “Go ahead, I’ll wait here.” Helpful as ever.

* * *

The session went… well. Connor was not sure what to think. Martha was an incredibly kind and patient woman, helping him out when he wasn’t sure what to say. He had no reason not to trust her, so he opened up, telling her why he was there in the first place. He explained the fears he was experiencing and his newfound feelings as Martha nodded along. Although he felt awkward sharing this much with a stranger, she praised him for being brave and that was what made him keep going. After about an hour of talking, Connor left the office feeling incredibly tired and worn out. Was it normal for therapy to take this much energy from you?

Hank stood up as he saw the android walking back into the waiting room. “Hey! How’d it go?” he asked, smiling at him as he pulled on his jacket which had been lying over the back of the couch.

Connor shrugged as they began to walk towards the exit. “Fine, I guess. She’s nice.”

Hank nodded, making his way down the steps and towards his car. He pressed down on one of the buttons of his car keys and unlocked the doors. “Yeah, it takes a few times before it helps. Give it a bit of time, kid. I’m sure this will be good for you.” He opened the door to the driver’s seat and sat down.

“I hope so,” Connor murmured, slotting himself into the passenger's seat and looking out the window as Hank started the old vehicle.  

* * *

Gavin’s shenanigans didn’t subside. Although Connor found his touching distressing, it didn’t feel right to get in Reed’s face about it after the detective’s unrelenting attempts at friendliness. In addition to that, almost all Connor’s colleagues had finally started to respect him, even those who were known for being skeptic about androids. Connor began feeling more accepted as he was starting to become a part of their community, which was something that brought him immense amounts of joy. People would tell him good morning as he walked into the precinct, they exchanged small talk with him in the break room and they would ask him for all kinds of advice. He finally felt like he belonged somewhere other than Hank’s house, and he was incredibly grateful for it.

Getting into an altercation with Reed could potentially make him lose his newly acquired position in the department, and it didn’t seem worth it. So Connor forced himself to endure it, smiling tightly at Gavin’s bad jokes as he kept himself from slapping the detective’s roaming hands away. Hank had definitely begun to notice Reed’s changed behavior as well. When asking Connor about it, the android simply answered that the detective was sorry for leaving him at that crime scene those weeks ago. He was just trying to make up for everything he had done to Connor in the past, because however awkward Gavin’s new attitude was, his heart was in the right place.

Later that same day, Connor was reading a book next to Hank while the lieutenant was watching the game on TV, sipping on a glass of water. Reading was a new hobby the android had picked up after realizing how much he loved the feeling of a physical book in his hands and the anticipation of wanting to know what happens next. Technically, he could finish hundreds of books in a nanosecond, but that didn’t feel quite as rewarding. He was now on a quest to finish all the untouched crime novels Hank kept in his bookshelf, and he was eating them up fast.

“Hey, Connor?” Hank said. The android looked up from his book.

“Yes?”

“When’s your birthday?” Hank asked, curious. Connor blinked, LED spinning yellow. He hadn’t been expecting that.

“Uh, August 15th, I guess. That’s when I was activated,” he said softly, placing his bookmark on the page he was currently on before closing the book, leaning forward to concentrate on what Hank was saying.

Hank frowned. “Hold up, that’s…” he counted quietly to himself. “...Less than two weeks from now! Why didn’t you say anything?” he exclaimed.

Connor shrugged. “I’ve never thought about it, really.”

Hank hummed, drumming his fingers against the small table to his left. “Well, I gotta figure out something to give you then.”

Connor looked at him in surprise, raising his eyebrows. “Oh, you don’t have to give me anything!”

Hank smiled at him, waving a hand dismissively. “I want to. Plus, you deserve it,” he shrugged, tilting his head. Connor smiled gratefully as Sumo suddenly bumped his snout against the android’s thigh, begging for some attention. Connor began scratching the large dog behind his ear, feeling elated.

“I want to go to the aquarium,” he said after a minute of silence. Hank looked at him with a satisfied expression on his face.

“Sure, can’t see why not. I’ll make sure we get the day off on the 15th,” he smiled. Connor nodded excitingly, bubbling with anticipation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School has started for me again so I can literally feel all creativity draining out of my body, so I'm sorry if I don't update as frequently! Hopefully the next chapter will be better than this one lol :-) Kudos and comments are appreciated as always!


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